What happens in minds of other people is a mystery for us. Strong subjective experiences might be disbelieved or go unnoticed. One may easily be overwhelmed by something trivial to everybody else. “How can it be?” we might ask. The answer is not very comfortable. For more information read here and here.
My kid and corona
After COVID-19, due to limitations of teaching over Zoom, my eldest lost some of his math ability. Occasionally he stares blank at the exercise and tells that he does not know how to address it. If this initial resistance is overcome, and he actually starts solving, usually he solves within 10 seconds. To make things worse, this math paralysis often happens in the middle of him solving the exercise. He stops and does not know how to continue. Probably he is overwhelmed.
To me, this does not happen. But I have a very different disability. I come up with an answer which is correct, but I do not know how to explain the deduction. People think all sorts of stories about me, but I simply did not arrive to the results in a way I can verbalize. This often happens with math. So when I try to help my son, it looks comical.
“Look, this is it! This is clear! See, it works when you put the numbers!” “Wonderful… How did you address the question?” “I do not know… It is self-explanatory… Isn’t it?”
Automatic systems
Typically to make any decision we either consciously process the relevant information step by step or make an automatic decision. Automatic decisions are very similar to trained artificial intelligence networks. We get stimulus and produce a response, but we do not really understand what happened in-between.
The automatic systems are significantly faster and more efficient, yet not very controllable or transparent, and their accuracy is about the same as deliberate reasoning. We have something very similar in engineering when training different kinds of AI models.
Now, the situation gets more complex as we get certain modulators or co-processors that change the way our decisions are made. This also can happen for example in a mobile phone when switching between high-speed and low-energy processors. In our brain, the switching is much more complex and several mechanisms may be involved.
Amygdala hijack
The output of sense organs is first received by the thalamus. Part of the thalamus’ stimuli goes directly to the amygdala or “emotional/irrational brain”, while other parts are sent to the neocortex or “thinking/rational brain”. his emotional brain activity processes information milliseconds earlier than the rational brain, so in case of a match, the amygdala acts before any possible direction from the neocortex can be received.
Basically, the automatic reaction may have a “false positive” and switch on before we can fully understand the situation. The reaction, in this case, can be very distressing like panic or very positive like explosive laughter. And this reaction will not be based on any logic. Or a strange action, which can have a very unpredictable outcome. There is a cool story about it.
A man strolling by a canal when he saw a girl staring petrified at the water. Before he knew quite why he had jumped into the water in his coat and tie. Only once he was in the water did he realize that the girl was staring in shock at a toddler who had fallen in whom he was able to rescue.
Visual thinking
When we think visually, without subvocalization, we may process very fast good information, creative solutions, and effective physical performance. We might even understand very well what we do… We probably use our prefrontal lobe. Yet we rarely can formulate the thinking in words.
Occasionally, when asked how do I know something I actually cannot answer. I retrieved an image from my visual memory associatively. Then I played its mental palace or mindmap. Possibly followed some portal or hyperlink to other memory structures. Returned back with pieces of the puzzle that merged. I have the answer. Now I need to go back from the answer to the resources, and it may be a very hard task.
There is a joke about in. In a lecture, a math professor in one of the formulas tells that something is easy to prove and continues. Then his formulas stop working. He gets pale, goes away for half an hour. When he reemerged he shines “Yes! It was easy to prove! And the mistake was in the sign two lines later!”
Cassandra and Appolo
In Greek mythology, when Cassandra rejected Apollo’s romantic advances, he cursed her so that no one would believe her warnings.
The term “Cassandra” is used by some psychologists to describe individuals who suffer from physical and emotional distress due to troubling personal perceptions, and who are disbelieved when they try to communicate the source of their suffering.
This reflects a conflict between the confusing, intuitive realm of emotions and the logical, rational understanding.
As an archetype, Apollo represents the part of the personality that seeks clear definitions, excels in mastering skills, values order and harmony, and prefers surface appearances over deeper insights. The Apollo archetype prioritizes thinking over feeling, distance over intimacy, and objective analysis over subjective intuition.
Basically, the thoughts and feelings that are not built on logical foundations and sound evidence are bluntly discarded. We feel vulnerable, alone, and not being able to share our pain.
Corporate Cassandras
Moreover, this pain is experienced not just by weak individuals. I heard stories of successful entrepreneurs complaining about serious psychological issues and inner conflicts, yet unable to voice the concern for the expected lack of real empathy from the others. Here is the person whose story I emotionally associated with the syndrome. Maybe for another reason.
Foreseeing potential future directions for a corporation or company is sometimes called “visioning”, yet achieving a clear, shared vision in an organization is often difficult due to a lack of commitment to the new vision by some individuals in the organization because it does not match reality as they see it. Those who support the new vision are termed “Cassandras”—able to see what is going to happen, but not believed.
The situation is much worse with famous musicians and comedians, who are often profoundly depressed and suicidal yet hiding behind humor and glamor. Sometimes they reportedly say that nothing in the perfect life they project is real and true. The infamous club 27 of famous people who died young is not the only symptom.
Sensory sensitivity
Being sensitive to certain sounds or smells can be unbearable (misophonia or hyperstomia). For example, there is a well-documented sensitivity to other people eating near you. This sensitivity can be very selective. I almost do not feel smells or at least smell is not my dominant sense. Yet I have a strict “no eating in the car” policy. For me, certain foods combine with motion sickness generating very strong gut-wrenching experience. Once I jumped out of a car near a traffic light because my kids were eating in it and Anna refused to act.
This is not normal. It is possibly shocking. Others might not understand you. Yet this is not your fault. The situation is easier to avoid with clear boundaries than perform desensitization treatment… Exposure may make the situation much worse if not performed with a gradual introduction of stimuli and constant relaxation.
Overwhelming dread
Our fears are also very personal. I have an overwhelming dread that AI will be so smarter than us that humans will be reduced to pets – trained to be cute and respect the property of the “grown-ups”. So far this vision is fulfilling itself. I dread it, but cannot do anything about it. Occasionally I fail to build a great AI, because deep inside I do not want it to work. I prefer to build something simpler, more transparent, “ethical”.
My threat is real. The logic is accepted by all experts. Only my emotion of dread is my personal burden.
Dealing with an overwhelming sense of…
Since I am in these situations more than I would love to admit I developed a protocol, roughly similar to DEAR MAN:
- Recognize and admit the sense of overwhelming something
- Express my feeling to people I trust and get validation
- Identify the root cause: emotional, sensory, automatic, or otherwise
- Distance myself from the immediate cause and regain composure
- Negotiate boundaries that reduce the exposure
- Evaluate alternatives for dealing with the symptoms
- Consider self-administering treatment to the sensitivity
- Kindly thank those who helped me deal with the condition.
Does it work? Not always, yet it is probably better than alternatives. I voice my issues, gather supporters, and build effective protocols. That’s something…
