Fighting with your own ineptitude and failures

Fighting your own ineptitude is very different from facing ineptitude of other people and requires a very different set of skills. Maybe you will want to read here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Why should I care?

You, people who read this blog, work hard to learn new things and become more effective in what they do. If you happen to fail you may blame yourself, or blame your learning, or work harder than you can afford. In fact, you do not have to suffer from epic failures.  There are simple steps that can mitigate failures more often than not, so why not use them?

It’s only human

We all make mistakes, and some of our mistakes are huge. I am talking about mistakes so big, that all our colleagues can understand them and ridicule us. Epic failures are not very common, yet we experience them every now and then.

We are expected by the society we live in, and by our own moral codes to do everything in our power to handle such failures gracefully. If all the people involved will say “Hey, its only human to err” we probably handled the crisis properly. If there is a criminal investigation with us in star roles, this means that we failed big time.

I failed epically many times without tragic consequences. This does not make me an expert, but at least you may assume I know what I am talking about. For the rest of the article, I will describe what I perceive as a reasonable way to manage epic failures.

Check and double-check

To feel that the failure was inevitable we need to check and double-check when dealing with critical situations. Most of the time, we can feel free to fail – as long as there are no serious consequences or there is someone to catch our mistakes.

The kind of freedom we get depends on the position we hold. Doctors, lawyers, and teachers get very little freedom.  Scientists, programmers, and journalists get almost more freedom than they can bear. Ultimately there are very few things that need to be checked really thoroughly. 

After we do what we do, it makes sense to take a pause, sleep on it. We should be able to check our critical assumptions and decisions slightly before we announce our results. Then we should probably double-check the decision again when we still can manage the consequences. The delay is required since we think differently during different parts of the day and may notice the things we would not spot otherwise.

Ask others

The way we think is very flexible. It is influenced by the time of the day, the amount of stress, the previous events, and by the presence of others. Simply describing our process to others may save us from huge mistakes. Even more when the others can question us.

The people we discuss with do not have to be the top-notch experts.  We are often oblivious to the mistakes we make and blind-spots in our logic, especially if we think visually. Describing the process step-by-step makes us painfully aware of each decision. We can even record ourself explaining something on camera and watch it later.

A very different sort of checks and balances is getting someone to sign on our submission. If our mistake is conspicuous there is a great chance it will be avoided.

Sharing with others and involving them in decision making has additional benefits. These people will also be more motivated to work harder and smarter.

Swallow your ego

Sharing our ideas with others is hard. We need to allow ourselves to become vulnerable.  Others will be likely to criticize and ridicule our mistakes, or simply to fix them with a condescending smile. We cannot allow this to hurt our confidence or self-esteem. It is better when our errors are found by the employees within the company than by clients. If the clients detect our mistakes, it is still better than if there is an issue with the end customers.

All of our knowledge, degrees, and experience may be needed to derive the correct decisions. Once we derived our decisions, they are either correct or wrong. We need to be able to use professional logic and honest communication to describe our steps, and not hide behind our diplomas.  If we are wrong, we are wrong, and even an intern has a right to correct us, and to some extent to ridicule us. We should probably swallow our ego if we expect honest criticism in the future, rather than silent reverence.

Simplify

We may need all the details and dimensions to search for creative solutions. Once we find several alternatives that work, we need to simplify the problem.

Reducing cognitive load improves decision making. We should ask critical questions in a very clear and simple way, removing the things that are not related to the choice.  Probably it is best to formalize this result as a letter which can be reviewed later.

Once we clarify our choices, it makes easier not only to make the choice but also to consult with others and justify our decision in the hindsight. Even if the decision will end up to be wrong, there will be no questions regarding the decision-making process.

Cut losses

If we happen to make mistakes, it might be best to cut losses. Quite often we feel too invested in our mistakes to accept them. The more we fight for what we believe in, the deeper we suffer if we happen to lose. It is better not to fight if possible, certainly if we are not sure of success.

When we get invested in something we tend to value it more than the alternatives. This is a known cognitive bias. We tend to think that after all that investment, the success must be very close. Again, a very common bias.

If we cut losses early,  with the first sign of a better alternative, we will be deeply respected. When we invest deeply in both alternatives, we will be seen as very professional but not very wise. Once we happen to fight for our ideas and loose honorably, we will be respected as people but may need to look for a new job. Dishonest behavior can lead to very bad results.

Do not bet if you cannot afford

Many professions generate a strong bias toward creative, decisive and confident behavior when facing uncertainty and risks. This is something we would expect from a fighter, a creative genius or an entrepreneur. Risktaking may pay off big time when we win. With time we will tend to become overconfident and take larger risks.

This may seem too obvious: if we can get an insurance policy we should buy it. When taking a legal risk we should have a written and signed opinion of a leading expert. If giving advice, we should have professional insurance.

Some bets are so large that in case of failure they may ruin us. Here is a piece of advice: do not bet unless you can afford it. I used to believe in jumps of faith and calculated risks. It worked for a while but ultimately went horribly wrong. I lost all of my money. Fortunately, I was young and my personal money was the only thing at stake. If I would take a loan from somebody shady, the situation could be much worse.

Get all the resources necessary

In many jobs, we always work in the environment of missing resources. I am talking about time, knowledge, money etc. Probably the number of resources we get will be just enough to succeed. We may get by creatively with slightly less that we want. It is important that expectations are realistic. If the gap is too large, our ineptitude and overconfidence with become very clear. If we ask for too many resources, it is equally dangerous as we will need to manage chaotic behaviors and lack of creativity. It is common to ask for what we find the bare minimum plus 30% for contingencies.

Have a contingency plan

Most of the time in most of the projects something will eventually go wrong. It is important to have a contingency plan. If you fail with your best effort, there should be something which may not be the best solution, but will manage the results of a failure. Like a reserve wheel in a car, contingency plans do not have to be as reliable as the main plans and do not have to perform as well. They are there to avoid the effects of critical failures.

The best practices, rules, and protocols we often include such contigency plans. If there are such protocols, it is best to know them and use them. The contingency plans are as important as the main plans, and often surpass them in the quality of the end result.

Be empathic to yourself

Most failures are avoidable. While others will forgive us if we take the necessary steps, we will be less likely to forgive our own stupidity. It is very important not to be cruel to ourselves and to empathize with our own mistakes. It is only human to err, and we will make stupid mistakes from time to time.

When we get a new job we do not have enough knowledge and experience. When we work in the same job for too long, we stop noticing. In both cases, we will be overly confident and make stupid mistakes. Either we will not notice them and feel invincible, or we will notice them and hurt ourselves. It is important not to hurt ourselves too much and treat ourselves with respect.

Use your failure as a learning experience

Failures are eventually a learning experience. We are all inept from time to time, and our failures guide us towards a more productive approach. It is a good practice to accept failures and learn from them. We do not need to take the blame, but we should not dodge the blame completely. If we could prevent failure, the failure is at least partially,  our own fault.

There are many techniques that allow handling and reducing the stress of failure.  Some amount of stress is good, as it leads to excitement, and the rest can be reduced using some form of guided visualization and self-talk.

If we fail, and there are no catastrophes, it actually boosts our confidence. Like falling from a horse and getting back, we feel more respect for our challenges, ourselves and the way we choose to improve ourselves.